Merry Christmas, everyone! Been writing more, so decided to update the blog. Been reaching out on the web to some relatives and friends. Also, welcomed grandson #4 recently. They are all gorgeous, all boys, all very smart, fill in the blank if you're already a grandparent; you know the drill (and in everybody's case it's true, I know.)
On the MS front, just heard of a girl who was recently diagnosed. She is only in her early 20's. Man, I can only hope the future is brighter for her, and everyone else who comes along with a diagnosis now. (See my links for the NMSS address for further information.)
And...music for today is "An Evening with John Denver," the album my folks got me for my 12th birthday. Still sounds good after all these years. RIP

I'm up and moving again. After months of being tied to the wheelchair, I received my leg braces in the mail today. Take that, MS---I'm going out tomorrow afternoon, to another place with different walls and other lights through the windows. AHA!

Lately, I've had alot to think about. The MS has been doing it's regular Fall thing, and I sometimes feel as if I'm sitting up high looking down on what used to be my life, and shaking my head in disbelief. I'm a Christian, so I have to believe I still have a voice, and some sort of job in the world. I don't stay quiet for long.
Let me tell you how it really is to have MS. My job has been over for a long time, but I stay in touch with friends, family, my "extras", the friends of my kids when they were growing up.
And always the grandkids, Beach Boys and playing Peek a boo, nothing can take that away.
So you stay in touch with the things that are really "you", everything is kind of distilled down to what really matters.
There's still nothing to take for granted, and sometimes good things still to gain.
After all, I got Kris Kristofferson's new album in the mail today, so life is good.

I'm just sayin'...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/07/obama-speech-to-schoolchi_n_278763.html
This is the link to the speech Obama will give to schoolchildren this week. Check it out; it's a good speech. I'm just sayin'...

Keeping an eye on Washington, hoping in the end everybody ends up with healthcare coverage. In a country this size with our economic development and in this day and age,
everybody should be able to access healthcare. Here's hoping for the best. OK, done ranting for the day.

"Freedom's just another word..."

I was thinking about "Freedom,"and what that concept means to me now.
It has meant different things to me throughout my life, depending on my then-current situation. Back in the late 60's, when my dad taught me all of the lyrics to Kris Kristofferson's first album, freedom was something people sang about, and I was still just a kid, but from things I would see on TV or hear in songs, I figured "freedom" had something to do with motorcycles and long hair.
In the 70's, when I was going through high school and thinking about the future, "freedom" was the concept by which I dreamt about what the future may hold someplace other than "here."
During the years I worked and raised a family, "freedom" was something I blithely took for granted, making my decisions and mistakes as I went, no one judging how I did it.
These days, I look back on Kristofferson's lyric, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" to describe what it's like to be without a driver's license, unable to rollerskate, or play with my grandkids the way I would like, outside and running around with no restraint.
"Nothing left to lose" is what happens when depression grabs you, and it's hard to see the light.
But somehow, I keep lookin' up.

On a day when nothing goes right and the various parts of your body are not working well, there's nothing else to do but veg in front of the Bears game with a Pepsi and some chocolate/mint ice cream; and just maybe, the Bears will win!

I was checking the weather channel, looking at the map for my part of IL, when an alert concerning the hurricane headed toward the Eastern seaboard caught my attention. Out of habit, I checked the city where some relatives of my ex-husband live. Automatically I made plans to call them, check on them and see if their area was in the path of concern.After all, I had been married 25 years, and I had always thought of them as "family."
Then I froze. Even though we had been in touch since the split, I had not heard from them in quite some time now. Maybe it was time to let it go.
I've always had trouble with that, letting go of someone. In the natural stream of life people come and go out of our lives, but "goodbye" has always been a real struggle for me.
The disintegration of my marriage was almost more than I could tolerate. I have been working on the "letting go" for a very long time. If I couldn't have turned to family,friends, and my faith in God, the loneliness would have been crushing.
So I've come to understand that "letting go" is a journey, like any other in life.
And maybe someday, looking at the Weather Channel will just be "looking at the Weather Channel", something ordinary that doesn't hurt, no matter what the season.

I was preparing to journal today about the research I've started on MS and fibromyalgia and where they intersect. But, as usual, the radio is on, and Supertramp is singing "Right, Bloody well right." Then the Stones come on, and I might as well stop and veg, listening to the radio. And if I had a nickel for everytime I've done that...
But I digress. One point I've found where MS, and fibromyalgia intersect is neuropathy, so I'll start my research there. My cousin Judy has inspired this research. We now share physical pain, but throughout my life she has shared with me emotional pain, as well. It is also her fault that I had to stop to listen to the radio. She lived with us when I was 5, and taught me to roller skate at the local rink. Even though she was out of high school already and had her own life, she would spend Saturday afternoons with me watching the rock and roll programs of the day. Sitting here right now the only one I can remember is Bobby Sherman's, and that one because he was a favorite of mine.
Anyway, watch this space for further research.
And more rock and roll references.

Our power was out for a couple of hours this morning.

Our power was out for a couple of hours this morning. One of those "severe thunderstorms" the midwest is famous for rumbled through, though this one seemed to thunder on longer than usual. I found myself getting disgusted, thinking of all the things I wasn't getting done. So I prayed, and the gift I received was patience. I thought of all those things again, and decided I could do them one at a time, when the power came on. So I listened, really listened, to the rain hitting the front porch, to cars out on Main Street, to a lone bird braving the storm. I eventually took a good nap, and woke up just in time for the power to come back on. Funny how that works...

"Hey Dude, can you play some LYNRD SKYNRD?" A little "Tuesday's Gone" puts everything into perspective. You can't beat well-played electric guitars, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Please don't forget....

While you might be someone's patient, someone's project, or someone's problem, at the end of the day, you are still YOU, MS or not.

Changing the outlook, changing the race

The MS does interesting things to the "outlook", so to speak, like changing your appearance. I have recently put on alot of extra weight, mostly related to a new med that increases the appetite expotentially. Some of my family members, however, relate it specifically to my penchant for Pepsi, which started in childhood. So recently, because the weight is affecting my ability to move around, I have given up Pepsi and replaced it with grape juice. Wish me luck!

Instead. One way or another.

It's Sunday, and I would love to be getting ready for church.

Instead, I am here, working on the computer, trying to ignore the burning skin across my back.

So, instead of complaining about the obvious; the facts of fatigue, obvious trouble walking, and no way to dress for anything, let alone church, if you cannot put any cloth against your back and therefore cannot wear anything approximating church-going attire,I will concentrate on the less-obvious.

Instead, these are the gifts of this morning. I can still see well enough to write and type, something some MS patients can no longer do. Despite cognitive problems, I am here, organizing ideas and sharing my thoughts. I am here, at all.

Instead, I'll praise God from here, and it will be enough.

Instead.

Back from an extended....

I started this blog before I really knew what I wanted or needed to say, and I gave up quickly and abruptly. But after much prayer, rethinking, and searching, I found my way back here, ready to answer anyone this time who takes the time to write, and explain over time who I am and why I'm here.